I Just Be Chillin', No Sweat

I forgot to tell you earlier: This is a guest post by Old Horsetail Snake. Even though it says down at bottom that it's from Raggedy. So it goes.

+ + + + + + + +

A New York Episcopal priest is working with young parishioners in the Bronx. Recently he issued a CD featuring Bible stories in "street language." For example, the 23rd Psalm:

"The Lord is all that
"I need for nuthin;
"He 'lows me to chill."

And then there's the pro football player who's taking time off this summer:

"I'm relaxing in 88-degree weather in Southern California. I'm just chilling."(!!)

+ + + + + + + +

Bubba liked to frequent the old swimming hole but was never able to attract the girls. He decided to ask his friend Billy-Bob for advice.

"It's those baggy swimming shorts that make you look like an old fool. They're years out of style. Bubba, grab yourself a pair of Speedos about two sizes too little and drop a fist-sized tater down inside them. I'm tellin' ya, man, you'll have all the babes you want."

The following weekend Bubba hits the swimming hole with his spanking new tight Speedos and his fist-sized tater. Everybody at the swimming hole was disgusted as he walked by, covering their face, turning away laughing and looking sick.

Bubba went back to his buddy Billy Bob and asked, "What's wrong now?"

"Lord-a-mighty," said Billy Bob. "The tater goes in front!"