Thursday Thirteen (13th)

"Hickphonics," ~ the language taught in all Southern schools.

From the Hickphonics/English dictionary:

1. BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow." Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."



2. JAWJUH - noun. The State north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck." (Jawjuh=Georgia Lanner=Atlanta)

3. BAMMER - noun. The State west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum. Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvements." (Bammer=Alabama)

4. MUNTS - noun. A calendar division. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts." (Munts=Months)

5. IGNERT - adjective. Not smart. See "Arkansas native." Usage: "Them Bammer boys sure are ignert!" (Ignert=Ignorant)

6. ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck." (All=Oil)

7. TAR - noun. A rubber wheel. Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck." (Tar=Tire)

8. RETARD - verb. To stop working. Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65." (Retard=Retired)

9. FARN - adjective. Not local. Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed....mus' be from some farn country."(Farn=Foreign)

10. DID - adjective. Not alive. Usage: "He's did, Jim." (Did=Died)

11. BOB WAR - noun. A sharp, twisted cable. Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."(Bob War= Barbwire)

12. JEW HERE - Noun and verb contraction. Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?"(Jew Here=did you hear)

13. GUMMIT - Noun. A bureaucratic institution. Usage: "Them gummit boys shore are ignert."(Gummit=Government)

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